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 CLICK HERE to go back News / Etc. Page 3 Click Here For Page 2   ;void(0)) How To Spot A Fag Hag
fruit fly - früt flI - noun. a gay man’s best girlfriend. a fag hag. Meet Claire: 25, single, has highlights and two cats. She rarely goes on dates, but not because she’s fat, and not because she never meets men. She boasts a healthy social life, an impeccable collection of stilettos and coordinating clutch purses, and has a keen taste for pink cocktails. Despite her weekends out on the town, she always finds herself alone by the night’s end. Why? One might say Claire has a notorious reputation for falling for guys of, let’s say, a different persuasion. Meet Claire’s best friend, Trent. Trent, 25, is currently dating a few people, also enjoys pink cocktails, has highlights as well, but no cats. With his sharp taste in style, suave conversation skills, boyish grin and strong jaw line, Trent never has a problem getting a date. Trent and Claire have been best friends ever since high school, where they came to know each other as members of the drama club. Claire knew from the beginning there was something different about Trent. He was sensitive, caring, easy to talk to, and didn’t seem to mind her braces or acne. Claire definitely knew Trent was unlike all the other boys because he always noticed her new shoes and accessories. Claire’s repeated attempts to take their friendship to a new level by coaxing Trent into a date never accomplished anything other than an overwhelming sense of awkwardness. Deep down, they both knew why. Behind Trent’s closed closet door, between his band uniform and art supplies, he knew he was a fruit. And Claire was, and always will be, his fly. Ask any gay man of his female friendships, and most will mention at least one woman who means the world to him. Not because of her looks, or the size of her breasts, or anything else related to sex -- like most relationships between men and women. Such friendships can be traced back to teenage years when most gay boys begin to notice their inability to function in social circles drenched in heterosexual hormones. Homophobia sets in at an early age, and little gay boys are unable to be fully comfortable with themselves unless alone, or in the company of an understanding friend -- a fag hag. What could gay men and straight women possibly have in common that would pull them so close together? The often overlooked phenomenon begins in high school: a girl’s only friend happens to be gay. Both fag and fag hag, discarded from all other cliques, take refuge within each other. Neither cares about the other’s flaws, and both thrive on their misfit status. Who cares what the cheerleaders and jocks think, anyway? After college, during their attempt to roll themselves into middle class America, the fag is turned down from a job, and even though it is never said, he knows it’s because he’s gay. The fag hag eventually learns that she earns less than her male co-workers. Both experience some sort of discrimination, because they don’t fit in with society’s white, heterosexual, male-favoring agenda. They realize the often overlooked, but ironically obvious, parallels between women’s and gay's social struggles, and sink deeper into their bitterness toward the world. At the same time, both the fag and the fag hag are drawn even closer together. And unlike most other relationships, the true bond between a fag hag and her fag is guaranteed by an absence of sex. Both are free to love each other without any regard to sex -- something rare between two people of opposite genders. Sex is present, by all means, in a fag/fag hag friendship. It is discussed, laughed about, bitched about, and openly admired, but it never becomes the focus of their relationship. A true fag has no sexual attraction to women, and his fag hag, while cursing God for making him gay, knows she must respect this. The only thing that could ever tear them apart is the fag hag’s desire to sleep with her fag. Now that Trent is out of the closet, he fully understands the benefits of his fag hag friendship. Claire is always up for a day of shopping, and never lies when Trent asks if a pair of low-rise jeans make his midriff look pudgy. Trent returns the favor whenever he catches Claire eyeing a pair of shoes that wouldn’t do her ankles much justice. Claire is the only one who shares the same appreciation for Trent’s “Best of Abba” CD, as well as his entire collection of “Pure Disco” volumes. She is equally as passionate about Whitney Houston remixes, especially after several cocktails. She has no qualms with holding his hand in public, confusing most people (including their parents) in regards to both his and her sexual orientation. But most importantly, Trent realizes no other woman would spend her Saturday evening in a gay bar full of gay men, so she can down pink cocktails with her best friend. How to Spot a Fag Hag:
Queer In College ;void(0)) September 2004 August. In this month so often characterized by excessive heat and humidity, it's no longer unusual to see Christmas displays in store windows as retailers try to get a head start on their most lucrative season. But the most prominent sales are still tied in with what may be the three most ominous words in any child's vocabulary: Back to School. Even now that my school days are long behind me, that dreaded phrase brings back such powerful memories that I can almost smell chalk dust and pencil shavings when seeing it pasted in store windows and newspaper ads. Of course, as a queer youth still deeply closeted, school was a masquerade. It meant days of pretending that I shared other boys' interest in girls, and, as always, trying to get excused from gym class where the masquerade was more difficult to pull off. For many gay boys, gym class meant humiliation. It was in gym class during my sophomore year in high school that a girl giggled at my effeminate attempt to play volleyball and shouted, "I never saw anyone so faggy before in my life!" Yes, I was faggy, but, as the girl may not have known, I was a fag. College, however, is different. Perhaps it's because college involves choice, especially among today's "nontraditional" students, so called because they are often in their twenties, thirties, and even forties before they enroll, and approach college with seriousness that high-school never inspired. Of course, no student is as "nontraditional" as a queer one, but college is often a strikingly different experience than high school. First of all, gym class, at least the traditional kind that forces sissy boys to compete with macho studs on the latter's turf, can be avoided in favor of noncompetitive courses in yoga, running, and even walking. Still, once that usually two credit hour requirement has been fulfilled with a class of the queer student's choice, there may not be too many choices. For an English major interested in queer authors, the syllabus will often include titles by James Baldwin or Tennessee Williams, but rarely do their queerness and its impact on their art merit more than a passing mention in the course. History classes may tell us about the Civil War and even the Holocaust, but homosexuals and their role in society and contributions to it are usually swept aside if they're acknowledged at all. But that is slowly changing. The day may come when a student can graduate with a BA in Queer Studies rather than traditional fields like English, Mathematics, and Business. As The Advocate reported in its September 29, 1998 issue, Queer Studies, largely based on the work of French philosopher Michel Foucault, are now offered at dozens of colleges and universities. At San Francisco State University, you can minor in Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Studies, a course of study that includes such classes as "Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual History," "Homophobia and Coming Out," "Lesbian Lives and Thought," and "Gay Love in Literature." The website for the City College of San Francisco boasts that it has the "Only Department of Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Studies in America." As the gay capital of the world, San Francisco may yet become the first US state to offer more than queer studies. How does San Francisco Queer College sound to you? That's one university where a gay and lesbian student organization would be unnecessary. Of course, Queer Studies are a source of much controversy and until such classes are offered without hesitation at every university, GLBT student groups are another reason why college can be a much more positive experience for queers than high school. If queer students are isolated in high school, and there's no question that they are, at college they can find support, especially if they're still hiding behind the closet door and are contemplating coming out. If high school was a dark cloud for queer students, college can often be the rainbow bursting through it. And, yes, I do mean the rainbow of gay pride. At this point, I hope that girl in my gym class never did see anyone more faggy than me. Her words were a humiliation then. I consider them an honor now. 8-20-04 Graham Norton Was A Hustler - Well, Almost Chat show god Graham Norton has revealed that at one time he considered becoming a hustler - earning an income from having sex with paying clients. According to Sky.com, the 41-year-old gay Comedy Central talk show host responded to an ad for 'call boys' when he at the tender age of 20. Norton reveals the details of his toe-dipping into the dark side in his new autobiography So Me, due to be released September 1st. At the time, Norton was broke and living at a hippie commune in San Francisco when he saw the advertisement for male escorts in a newspaper. “I didn’t tell anyone what I was planning to do. I phoned up and was given a time to be at an apartment.” Norton did show up for the job 'interview', but quickly decided it wasn't for him. “My only sexual experience up to that point was a fumble in a tent, so it seemed a bit ambitious to be going for a job as a rent boy,” he said. VH1 has "Faith" With Behind The Music: George Michael "Behind The Music: George Michael" tracks the unparalleled arc of a living legend and reveals how the quiet son of a Greek immigrant changed the look and sound of modern pop. With talent, dignity and style, he conquered every chart, everywhere, every time... but that triumph has not come without struggle, heartache, ontroversy and loss. Built from an intimate new interview, George Michael's "Behind The Music" details the every step of the man born Georgios Panayiotou, an artist who would not be denied fame and longevity despite constant dogging from the media, a brutal legal battle with his record label and his instantly infamous arrest in Los Angeles. From "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" to "I Want Your Sex" to "Faith" to "Freedom" to present global smash, "Amazing", Michael's platinum path is testament to the power of integrity in the face of hardship. In his "Behind The Music", Michael opens up on his ambitious beginnings, his teenage ego, the Wham split, his unmatched solo conquests, his decision to sue Sony Music, the death of his mother, and the Beverly Hills bathroom escapade that ultimately led to his coming out of the closet as a proud gay man. With perspective from those who've surrounded the singer from day one, this sixty minute show paints the picture of a naturally, otherworldly gifted musician and performer who rose from waiter to poster boy, from Grammy winner to philanthropist, while suffering the wrath of a ruthless media with tongue firmly in cheek and grace intact. From his teenage days conquering hearts and dance floors with Wham through his 90's solo dominance and present day dance reinvention, from courtrooms to gravesides to jail cells, George Michael has spent two plus decades in the public eye. "Behind The Music" gets the truth behind every scandal, the tears behind every loss and the story behind the songs we know by heart. This promises to be the most revealing and comprehensive look ever at a pop king whose reign might just last forever. "Behind The Music: George Michael" premiers on AUGUST 22 AT 9 PM ET/PT and will air in forthcoming repeats as well. 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