6-29-06

Friends with the Ex.

It's a nice enough thought. Still being friends with someone you shared an intimate relationship with.

This topic reminds me of my favorite Sex and the City episode, Ex and the City. Some of my most memorable quotes are from this episode.

"We keep dresses we never wear again, but we throw away our ex's. I'm just saying, when you break up with someone where does the love go?" or. . .

"Believe me, I'd love to be one of those women who says 'we loved, you enriched my life, now go. . . prosper', but I'm much more 'we didn't work out, you need to not exist.'" Or even. . .

"Women are for friendship, men are for fucking."

It's a grand enough concept. Still being able to keep a friendship with someone you care so deeply about that you're not ready to let them out of your life completely.

Sometimes though, relationships endings go so badly that the thought of a friendship is inconceivable. How could you be friends with the jerk that broke your heart?

Well, you can't. But you can be friends with the guy whom you mutually agree with that "it just isn't working."

It can be argued that trying to be friends with an ex is just a pathetic way of trying to salvage something that isn't there anymore. When I think of it and my "friendly ex," I couldn't help but wonder, are they right?

My friendly ex, Aiden (see Henri On. . . Long Distance Relationships), is someone I care very much about, and would practically do anything for. I never really got over him, so the chance of still being friends with him was a welcome alternative to never having him in my life again.

Things are good between us. We talk sporadically, with no animosity between us, or ill feelings. We really are friends.

In the back of my head though, I'm always going to want it to be more. I'm always going to be thinking, "please realize that I'm the one for you."

It may sound silly and pathetic, but we all have that one person who we want so bad that we're willing to practically make fools of ourselves, and let all our walls down for. If you don't have this guy yet, you will.

Go ahead, laugh and say I'm crazy for thinking that way, but when it comes down to it, can you "friends with the ex" guys really say that you're friends with that person just because you want a friendship.

Friends can be made when buying toilet paper at HEB, or waiting in line at Burger King for your whopper junior hold the pickles and the lettuce. Friends aren't that hard to find, so why on earth would you want to be friends with someone who's seen you naked?

What are you going to do, stand and chit-chat about the weather? The man been inside you!

There's always an ulterior motive whether you're willing to accept it or not. So face it, friendly ex, you're in serious denial.

You still like that person, whether its subliminally or up front in your face.

Usually though, I've come to see that friends with your ex is only a temporary complex. The only world that ex's stay friends is the world of Friends and Saved By The Bell, where everyone in a circle dates one another at one point or another.

Think about it, when you finally do meet that one guy that's never going to hurt you, the one that is worth crying for, even though he never will make you cry. The one you do end up sharing the rest of your life with, do you really want that "friendly" reminder there of something that didn't work out.?