Honesty

"Jim" was the kind of guy anyone would swoon over. Incredibly handsome, blue eyes, short dirty blonde hair, great physique, straight out of the Army. A real hottie.

We met like I've met most of my guys: online. This time, I think it was on Myspace. Big surprise right? Actually, I'd be lying if I told you I met him online. I'd actually met him before. Truth be told, he was one of my friends' ex-boyfriends.

Well anyway, turns out, I was right, karma is indeed a big bitch.

Jim was sweet. He turned out to be a great friend. Unfortunately, true to form, I fell for him. How could I not, here's this great looking guy, nice, sweet, genuine, he seemed to be the perfect guy actually.

Had I been honest with him in the beginning about my feelings, this whole ordeal could have possibly been prevented.

Jim, whether he knew it or not, was a player. The sad thing was, he was so good at it, he had me going for a while.

I'm not a stupid guy. I'd like to think I have pretty common sense (well, now anyway, maybe not a year or so ago), so why was I stuck in this little charade?

To be completely honest with you, I'm not quite sure I would classify Jim as a player. The sad truth is, I don't think he was conscious of what he was doing. I honestly believe that he was such a simple guy, he didn't realize the consequences of his actions.

We'd go out on romantic dates, follow it up by going to the club, or movies, or whatever one night, and then the next night, I'd find him out with another guy.

The night after that, he'd make me dinner at his house, telling me things like "You're such a good guy, Henry." Or, "I get a real good vibe from you. I like spending time with you."

And then. . . the night after that, he'd tell me he was going out on a date with someone else, or he'd tell me he was talking to his boyfriend from Austin.

Hold the phone! Boyfriend? Wow. I knew it. . . too good to be true.

You better believe after this chapter in my life, one of the first questions I ever ask a guy I meet is. . . "Do you have a boyfriend?"

I finally had to ask him, "Hey Jim, what's your deal? What's going on with us? Can you explain our relationship to me please."

Turns out, Jim was just a genuinely nice guy. He just had way too good of a heart. He even told me, "This happens to me all the time, guys end up falling for me because I'm so nice to them."

Conceited? Big headed? Maybe. Maybe not. He was right though. Apparently, I wasn't the first guy.

I held on to this belief for a while. I thought, wow, here's a guy who's too nice for me. No dice, I can't hang out with him anymore or I'm going to fall even more.

The point is, I was stuck in a game. Whether it was subconscious or not, I was in it, and it was shitty.

I truly believe, and I've said this before, honesty is the best policy. It's okay to ask big questions in the beginning. It gets the questions out of the way, and lets you get on with what's really going in a relationship, or in my case, what wasn't going on.